Guest Post: BBQ chicken pizza: $2.30 each

Note: Welcome to another biannual “weekly” installment of my husband, B.’s, guest posting and helping out in the kitchen. He notes below, in his defense, that he does do quite a bit of laundry and other cleaning-related chores. I have to concede this is true, because I don’t think I’ve done a load of laundry since 2010, and yet somehow I’m still employed and wearing clean socks.

By my estimation, it’s been…oh…about a week since I last cooked and helped out, so I guess it’s high time I do what I do best: Poach remnants of stuff K. cooked and make a stab at something close to edible. In truth, I’m a little intimidated by the actual cooking that occurs on this blog, so I try to overcompensate around the house to pick up my end of the bargain—do dishes, laundry, and clean up. During one of these chores (I wish I could remember which), I found two leftover balls of pizza dough in the freezer and told K. I’d like to make something with them.

Pizza with Yukon Golds, caramelized onions, blue cheese & bacon: $1.36 each

Given the abundance of tomatoes and basil in our garden during the summer, pizza has become sort of a seasonal thing around here. Which is too bad, because having the oven on at high temperatures is a great way to warm up the house, especially if you have an oil-burning furnace like we do. (Being from California where everyone has electricity or natural gas, I originally pictured an oil-burning furnace as some sort of iron-clad Depression-era boiler that looked like it came off a submarine, but was disappointed to discover it looks like any other furnace.) Did you know heating oil costs more than gas right now? Because it does, and this causes me great anxiety any time we turn the thermostat over 60 degrees, so I’m always looking for auxiliary heat sources. Anyhow, this is my attempt at a seasonal pizza for January, using garlic oil in place of tomato sauce and thyme leaves in place of basil. It definitely doesn’t scream “PIZZA!,” but it’s still pretty damn good.

Guest Post: sausage, bacon & mushroom calzones: $2.03 each

Note: This is one of approximately three times my husband, B., has cooked in the entire history of our relationship, and not only did he volunteer to do it (and write a post about it), the result was embarrassingly better than whatever I would’ve made with the same ingredients. Not only is the gig up on his “I can’t cook” excuse, the status of his being cooked for seven days a week is officially in jeopardy.

Pizza with prosciutto & mozzarella fresca: $1.77 each

With the exception of Red Baron when it’s on sale (which is about as close to pizza as a cardboard box covered in scented candle wax), pizza does not come any cheaper than this. Or better, unless you happen to have a wood-fired oven at home, in which case you probably don’t care if your pizza costs $1.77 or $177. But for the rest of us commonfolk with cheap, rickety department-store stoves that struggle to break 500 degrees, this pizza is a godsend.

It does require a bit of advance planning, as the dough has to ferment overnight at room temperature and then for another two days in the fridge (you can get away with one day, but it won’t be as good), but so long as you work it into your schedule, it really takes no time at all.